Explorers
by REDicuolouness
Summary: Matt gets more worn down by the day because of his feelings for Dom. After a holiday he has to face him again, but does he have the strength to keep up the façade? BellDom, Muse. Rated M for swearing. YAY my first story ever. Please bear with me if there are flaws in the grammar, spelling or over all writing. English is not my native language but I really wanted to give it a shot.


**Matt's P.O.V**  
I was looking forward to work on the new album after a long tour and a break. I was buzzing with ideas and couldn't wait to share them with the other band members. There was one thing however I wasn't looking forward to. Confronting my fear. My fear to feel, to let it in, to admit, the reaction, the feeling like I was almost at a breaking point. I had this fear for years, but since the last time I saw him, it only grew and grew. Like a monster that lurked in the dark, finally emerging. Why did this have to happen? Why him? And especially…why a him? I'm straight for fuck sake, or so I thought…. I just don't know what to do. I arrives at the studio.

_"Well" he says to myself "Here we go again". And gets out of the car. Taking a deep breath before he opens the door where the object of his fear is probably already playing his drums. Dom._

I enter the studio where I see Chris sitting on the couch, fiddling with his bass. He's looking so much better since he sobered up. I'm so proud of him. "Hey mate how are you?" I say with a smile when I walks towards Chris. Chris looks up and smiles at me "Hey Matt, I'm good! Never been better" He gets up and gives a quick hug. "How are you man?" he asks. "Yeah, same old, same old" I reply with a smile. I hear the drums coming from the booth and my heart speeds up. "Shit, I have to face _him _now" I think. "Dom has been playing like crazy since he came in. He looked a bit odd, like he wasn't really here. I don't know what came over him during the holiday" Chris says. "You don't look too good either Matt. Are you okay?" he asks. "Yeah yeah I'm fine. Maybe a bit of a flu or something. It's been going around. Maybe Dom caught it too" I reply quickly.  
"Yeah maybe. Don't pass it to me though" Chris says stepping away a bit. "Nah, I'll keep my distance" I reply and surprise Chris with a tackle.

_Both of them fall on the couch and laugh their asses off. Matt gets flung on the ground by Chris and lands right in front of some shoes. He stills immediately, and looks up. Dom is looking down on him with a very questionable look_.

**Dom's P.O.V**  
Finally feeling like some of my frustration has left my body, I stop playing and walk out of the boot. The sight I walk into is just crazy. I see Matt and Chris fighting on the couch. Matt on top of Chris. Both laughing hysterically. Chris throws Matt off of him and Matt lands right in front of me. I look down and two blue orbs look up at me. Matt jumps up and brushes off his clothes. His laughter immediately silenced, like he was caught in an act he didn't want someone to see. "Hey man" Matt says "Hey" I reply. "How was your holiday?" Matt asks. "Good. Yours?" I reply. "Yeah, it was alright" Matt replies, not looking me in the eyes. I also look away. The room falls into an awkward silence.

"Soooo…shall we get started" Chris asks, breaking the silence, giving Matt and Dom some glances, not knowing what just happened. "Yeah..uhm…let's go. I've thought off some stuff in the holidays" Matt says and quickly grabs his notepad.

I catch Chris looking at me with a question in his eyes like "what's going on?" I just shrug

**Matt's P.O.V**  
I'm grateful the rest of the day goes by quite normal. Except for the feeling building in my chest. A feel like panic that doesn't find a way out. I do have some normal conversations with Dom, but most of the time I try to avoid speaking to and even looking at him. I just can't bear it. They all agree on some lyrics and a melody. So now it's my turn to try out some vocals.

I walk in to the booth and put the headphone on. I look through the glass and see Chris and Dom sitting behind the panels. Dom is fiddling on his phone, not really paying attention. He's looking amazing today. A black form fitting shirt on some bright green skinny jean. I soak up the view and startle when I hears Chris' voice in the booth. "Ready when you are." I nod. I try to find a melody in my mind. I find it and open my mouth to let my voice carry out the melody. But the only sound that comes out is a tortured shriek. I immediately shut my mouth. Fuck. I knew the pressure on my chest was annoying but I never thought it would be a voice killer. I look up and he see Chris and Dom staring at me with a "What the fuck was that?" look.  
"Sorry guys, don't know where that came from. Must be the flu or something." I try to laugh it off a bit and give the signal I want to try again. Chris nods, pushes some buttons and gives the 'okay' sign. I close my eyes and try to find the melody again. But my mind stays blank. Absolutely nothing comes up. I just had it. Where was it? This never happened. Ever. Normally I would have a melody and that would get stuck in my mind and not let go till it was processed in a song. I try to think of another melody. Nothing. Lyrics? Nothing. Fuck. Maybe my guitar? I fling it around my shoulder and try to get some tunes. Even the guitar complains. Nothing. Fuck fuck shit, what is happening? "Are you alright?" the familiar voice carries through the booth.  
I can't respond. I'm completely blacked out. The only thing I can think of is my agony about not knowing what to do about my Dom situation. How can I carry on with this. The band. When the source of my torture is so close to him. Every. Single. Day. I can't. I just can't.  
"Matt! Are you okay?!" that same voice again. It's so familiar. So pleasing to the ear, but still like I get stabbed in the chest. Dom's voice. I startle when a hand is placed on my shoulder, snapping me back to reality. I turn my eyes up and look straight in Dom's concerned face. Too close, he's too close. "Yeah yeah I'm fine" I say in an annoyed tone and slap Dom's hand away.  
"Wow, mate, what's wrong with you?"  
"Nothing! Alright?! I'm just fine" I say with a raised voice. Why doesn't he just leave?  
"Matt! Seriously! Did you snort a line or something. Chill out" Dom says with an equally annoyed voice.  
"Are you actually thinking of me as a junky? Well that's awesome. I'm fucking fine, alright? FUCK JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" I shout. Taking off my guitar and smashing it against the wall. My panic attack setting in. I push past Dom who shouts after me. "Matt! MATT!" But I need to get out. I burst out of the booth where I run in to Chris who tries to stop me. I raise my hands "no no no, just please, let me go." Chris lets me pass.

_Matt runs out the door and jumps in the car. He needs to get away. Now! He starts the engine and leaves a spray of pebbles behind when he steps on the gas._

**Dom's P.O.V**  
I'm utterly shocked. Why did Matt act like this? What did I do? I was just trying to help. I saw how lost Matt looked in the booth, he really gave me a fright. Like he was completely spacing out on something. Fuck. I want to go after him. But should I? Apparently he doesn't want me near him. "Dom?" I look up and see Chris staring at me. "Go after him." He says. I look at him with a confused look, because that's how I feel. Completely confused. Chris walks towards me and puts his hands on my shoulder, making me to look at him. "Dom, believe me. Go after him. I don't mind" he says.  
I don't register completely what he says. What does he mean with "I don't mind"? But yeah, maybe I should go after him. Yeah, that's what I need to do. This has to stop. I nod at Chris and run out.

**Matt's P.O.V**  
After making some turns at a way too fast speed I finally find the common sense to stop the car. I stop in the middle of nowhere. Needing time to be alone. I shut the car off and get out. I need air. I walk to the front of the car, pacing around and around. Shit shit shit, this is going to be a disaster. How can I live with this? I can't even work with him anymore. Why can't I just shut down everything I feel like I did before? I'm so confused.  
A mad laughter comes out of my mouth, followed by sobs. I lean with my back against the car, all the adrenaline that just rushed through my body leaving the system en leaving me feeling weak. I slide down the nose of the car and sit down on the ground. Letting my emotions run free. Tears blur my vision. Mad sobs and cries leave my body. I don't have any control over them. I don't notice the car coming. Don't notice a person coming closer till the person sits next to me and pulls me in an embrace. I carry along since I have no control over my body and put my head on the persons shoulder. The person pulls me closer and starts whispering reassuring words to me. It takes a while for me to even register the whispers. As soon as the familiar sound and the smell of the person hit me I startle and push Dom away.  
"Matt, what the fuck!" He yells. I jump up and try to walk away, but Dom grabs my arm. I fling my arm back, hitting Dom square in the face with my elbow. I hear him yelp but I don't care. I need to get away, he doesn't need to know. "MATT, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" and Dom leaps on my back, throwing me on the ground. I struggle as much as I can, he needs to get off me. But Dom is bigger, heavier and much stronger so it doesn't take long for him to flip me on my back, sit on my legs and pin my arms above my head. I feebly try to break free, but he is just too strong. "FOR FUCK SAKE MATT, COOL DOWN!" he yells.  
"NO, JUST LET ME GO. I CAN'T HANDLE THIS ANYMORE. LET ME GO" I yell back. "Please just go, please go, before I can't hold it any longer" I think to myself. "NO, I WON'T LET GO! YOU'LL GET YOURSELF KILLED IF I LET YOU GO!". I stop moving around. "This is already killing me" I say with a soft voice. I feel beat. Panting from the struggle.  
"What? How do you mean" Dom asks. "Being around you, having to deal with you day in day out" I say, not looking him in the eye. Dom sits up, letting my arms go. "Do you really hate me that much?" he asks in a hurt tone. I'm trying to hold it in….too late.  
"Because I'm fucking in LOVE WITH YOU ALRIGHT?!" I yell and use the last of my strength to throw him off of me. I stand up and put some distance between us. I don't dare to look at him. I hear him get up. The only sounds is a cricket. After what felt like an eternity, Dom asks "Why didn't you tell me?" I meet his eyes. He looks baffled.  
"Because I didn't want to mess up the friendship we have. Because off the band. And because, fuck, I'm not gay!" I'm getting riled up again. Feeling shame coursing through my body, but also relief it's finally in the open. Dom sniggers. So he thinks this is funny? "What's so funny about this. This is madness".  
"No, actually it isn't" he says and slowly starts walking towards me. I'm frozen on the spot. What is he going to do? Talk? Smack me in the face? He stops one step away from me and looks me in the eye. The only thing I can do is look back. Dom sniggers again and says: "I also thought myself being straight." I don't get what he means and startle when he puts his hands on the sides of my face.

I still just blankly stare at him when he pulls me closer to him. His face inching closer and closer. I can feel his breath on my face and the gentle brush of his lips on mine. I can't hold back a small gasp and he then moves in. Kissing me square on the mouth. The shock only lasts a minute with me and then I start to kiss him back. Warmth shooting through my body. I lift my hands and also put them on the sides of his face. Our kiss deepens and I feel his tongue trying to enter my mouth, I let him and I feel complete bliss when we plunge into a passionate kiss. Leaving us both breathless.

I have to part to catch my breath but I really don't want to. We both pull back on the same moment. I keep my eyes closed for a tad longer, trying to remember this feeling forever. Once I open them I see Dom looking at me. His forehead against mine. "I..I don't understand" I rasp. "Are you seriously that thick, Matthew?" Matthew? He never called me by my full name. I look at him in confusion. "Matt, since I saw you, you grabbed me and you didn't let go. Since day one it has been a torture seeing you every day. Seeing you play. Almost like you are making love to your guitar. Seeing you take girls to your hotel rooms and I always hoped that you would pick me to join you. Not one of those groupies. Fuck Matt. I love you, alright?" He says.  
Words seem to have left me. Instead I start laughing hysterically. All those years of frustration, anger with myself, the confusion, my feeble attempts to get him out of my mind and he was already mine without me knowing. Dom is not sure what to do and starts sniggering but soon chips in on my laughter. All the tension comes out with our laughter. Tears running down our faces. I plunk down on the ground, not able to carry my weight and Dom joins me on the ground. We laugh until our stomachs hurt. I lie down on my back, looking up at the starry sky, still hiccupping after that laughing fit.  
"Shit, we're a mess Dom" "Apparently Chris doesn't mind" he says. I look up at him with a questioning look. Dom laughs and says "I think he already knew before we did, because when you ran out he said to me to go after you and that he didn't mind" I start laughing again. Poor Chris having to deal with us for that long. "Shame man, how are we going to deal with this and the band?" I ask Dom.  
"Don't worry little lovebirds. We'll figure it out" We hear behind us. We startle and sit up and there's Chris looking at us with a stupid grin. We look at him dumbfounded and he starts to laugh. "Come on guys, I may have been a drunk for a long time, but the beer goggles didn't make me completely blind. But since I'm sober the puzzle fell together and I've just been waiting for you two to finally realise what was happening. It was quite amusing at times I have to say" He sniggers. Me and Dom look at each other and a nod was enough to decide we didn't let Chris make fun of us. We jumped up and run towards him. A scared look flashes his face when he sees us coming and tries to run away, but too late. We tackle him and fall down in a ball of arms, legs, dust and laughter. "Get off, Get off!"Chris yells between his laughing fits. "I don't want to get that 'flu' you guys have! I'm married!" We laugh a bit more and finally settle down. "Can we now please go and record that album" Chris asks. We all nod. No idea what the future holds, but we're ready.


End file.
